Thanksgiving Day Massacre: If Turkeys Had Legal Rights

Web Admin - Friday, November 21, 2014
turkey Thanksgiving criminal charges, Schaumburg personal injury lawyer

Thanksgiving is just around the corner now, so it seems like a good time to engage in an educational hypothetical: “what if turkeys had legal rights?” Suppose Chris Carver is just about to start preparing Tom Turkey for Thanksgiving dinner, when Governor Rauner, taking his cue from the annual presidential turkey pardon, decrees that all turkeys are protected and have the same rights as people. The police break down Chris's door, taking him away in handcuffs and saving Tom. This leads to two questions: “what, undoubtedly delicious, crimes could Chris be charged with?” and “what civil claims could Tom bring against him?"

Criminal Charges

There are a variety of crimes that Chris may be guilty of. The two major ones are kidnapping and attempted murder. Kidnapping is defined under Illinois law as “secretly confining someone against their will.” Chris was clearly confining Tom. Assuming it was done secretly, Chris may actually be guilty of aggravated kidnapping, a more serious version of the crime, because he had a carving knife, which would be a deadly weapon for purposes of the law. Aggravated kidnapping is a Class X felony in Illinois, which carries a sentence of between six and 30 years in prison.

However, Chris was doing more than just confining the turkey; he was preparing to cook him, which would be first-degree murder in Illinois. The different degrees of murder in Illinois are based on what the offender was attempting to do. Chris's qualifies for first-degree, the most serious, because he was intentionally trying to kill Tom. The fact that Chris did not succeed in killing Tom Turkey does not matter because he took a “substantial step” towards the murder when he kidnapped Tom. This means that the state could still charge him with attempted first-degree murder, also a Class X felony.

Civil Claims

While the criminal charges would take care of punishing Chris for his crimes, they do not provide Tom with any restitution for his ordeal. Fortunately, Tom can also sue Chris in civil court for several different claims. For instance, Tom can sue Chris for false imprisonment, the civil version of kidnapping, because he held Tom against his will. Tom could also sue Chris for assaulting him, since Chris intentionally acted in a way that put Tom in fear of an immediate harmful contact. Assuming Tom succeeds on these claims he can recover a variety of damages including payment of any medical bills, any wages he lost from his job during his confinement and recover, and compensation for the emotional pain and suffering of almost becoming Thanksgiving dinner.

If you believe you have been a victim of harms like Tom's, or you want to learn more about your criminal rights if you have been charged, contact the Schaumburg personal injury and criminal attorneys at Drost, Gilbert, Andrew & Apicella, LLC today. We assist clients in Rolling Meadows, Buffalo Grove, Barrington, and throughout the Chicago suburbs. Call 847-934-6000 for a free consultation.

About the Author: Founding partner of Drost, Gilbert, Andrew & Apicella, LLC, Colin Gilbert, received his J.D. from Chicago-Kent College of law in 2005. Colin argues cases across many practice areas including criminal defense, collections, civil litigation, real estate law, and corporate law. Colin is an active member of the Board of Governors of the Northwest Suburban Bar Association and the Illinois Creditors Bar Association. He is currently Vice President of the Arlington Heights Chamber of Commerce, and is a Commissioner for the Village of Arlington Heights. Colin has a 10.0 Attorney rating on Avvo, and was named one of the 2014 “Top 40 Under 40” Trial Lawyers in Illinois by the National Trial Lawyers Association.

Recent Posts


Barrington Illinois estate planning lawyer operating agreements POA Crystal Lake will lawyer car crashes PTSD installment contracts Inverness real estate attorney Whistleblower Claims Inverness insurance attorney Illinois corporate lawyer Illinois pet lawyer Affordable Care Act defective products Illinois insurance claim dispute lawyers South Barrington real estate lawyer paid sick leave boating accidents license reinstatement Rolling Meadows insurance dispute lawyers, insurance dispute ken apicella Arlington Heights estate planning attorney Rolling Meadows traffic law firm food poisoning pizza emoji Family Medical Leave Act Rolling Meadows criminal lawyer wills Illinois small business digital assets Crystal Lake car accident lawyer residential real estate Arlington Heights Traffic Lawyer Illinois civil litigation lawyer Illinois lawyer healthcare Rolling Meadows insurance dispute lawyers insurance attorney Palatine elder law attorney Illinois bicycle safety wrongful termination bicycle accidents tax attorney accidental death benefits probate claims process Palatine workers compensation lawyer agent Crystal Lake medical malpractice attorneys Buffalo Grove probate lawyer Legal Info llinois Real Estate Lawyers Association DGAA ObamaCare jet ski accidents trauma after an accident Des Plaines injury law firm liens institutional trustee Deer Park accident attorney Schaumburg probate attorney criminal law personal injury sexual images cell phone estate planning construction contracts Illinois DUI attorney Deer Park personal injury lawyer Inverness personal injury attorney traffic violations defense traffic deaths Illinois real estate lawyer pedestrian-automobile accident digital media accounts, estate planning, Arlington Heights estate planning attorney, bicycle dooring accidents Rolling Meadows Attorney civil rights violation financial advisors gift tax exemption, estate planning, estate planning strategies, Illinois estate planning, South Barrington estate planning attorneys Buffalo Grove insurance claim dispute lawyers employee misclassification probate lawyer Joliet general practice lawyers workers compensation Arlington Heights employment attorney Rolling Meadows criminal attorney fatal car accidents murder driving Arlington Heights Attorney BAIID Crystal Lake criminal defense attorney probate process boating DUI insufficient documentation Inverness civil lawyer Rolling Meadows insurance attorney Inverness estate planning lawyer Illinois registered agent Palatine corporate attorney trusts caregiver creditors Arlington Heights traffic attorney Chicago trucking accident attorney wills and trusts no contest clauses changes to mortgage law digital assets, digital fiduciary, estate planning, digital content, Long Grove estate planning lawyers Illinois Probate Act of 1975 severance agreements fiduciary rule spinal cord injuries Schaumburg estate attorney Mount Prospect elder law attorney Chicago estate planning Buffalo Grove car accident lawyer DMV loss of consortium Illinois insurance disputes Inverness corporate attorney modern family estate planning Buffalo Grove employment lawyer Arlington Heights wills and trusts attorney estate planning, digital assets, Revised Uniform Fiduciary Access to Digital Assets Act, Illinois digital assets, Illinois estate planning, Crystal Lake employment law attorney Buffalo Grove corporate attorney involuntary manslaughter senior citizens hit and run accident Illinois pedestrian accident attorney Arlington Heights tax lawyer material misrepresentation Crystal Lake estate planning lawyer real estate attorneys Palatine employment attorney Illinois medical malpractice case Buffalo Grove medical malpractice lawyers Schaumburg estate planning lawyer trucking accidents Illinois insurance claim attorney employment lawyer Illinois life insurance lawyer spinal cord injury Illinois insurance lawyer natural gas explosion Palatine estate planning lawyer fiduciary rule delay child safety DUI penalities Arlington Heights trucking lawyer Illinois will lawyer traumatic brain injuries Illinois estate planning attorney Palatine traffic lawyer Illinois medical malpractice claim Des Plaines real estate lawyer cause-of-death exclusions Illinois employee rights attorney. real estate attorney attorney fees advance healthcare directive dynasty trusts Arlington Heights injury attorney bike accident sole proprietorship car accidents Crystal Lake traffic attorney underage DUI Chicago life insurance attorney Chicago attorney compensatory time Barrington litigation attorney mortgage Illinois Sales Representative Act foreclosure Illinois car accident attorney Illinois employment law Barrington personal injury attorney Schaumburg life insurance attorney Barrington employment law attorney traffic offenses insurance claims Illinois mortgages Barrington attorney Arlington Heights car crash attorneys Crystal Lake medical malpractice lawyer Des Plaines personal injury attorney Illinois probate lawyer Schaumburg construction accident lawyer elder abuse workers compensation benefits Barrington business law firm drug crimes Des Plaines pet law attorney Schaumburg civil litigation attorney Arlington Heights real estate lawyer commercial leases natural gas federal regulations for LLCs Illinois criminal defense attorney Illinois attorney eluding a police officer Palatine Attorney Mount Prospect real estate lawyer insurance agents Illinois employment attorneys Illinois Wage Payment and Collection Act overtime violations Buffalo Grove traffic lawyers Arlington Heights criminal lawyer corporate law Crystal Lake bike accident lawyer Barrington personal injury lawyer blended families real estate Crystal Lake insurance lawyer Arlington Heights accident attorney unpaid overtime construction accidents, personal injury, wrongful death, Arlington Heights personal injury attorneys, workers' compensation health insurance dispute Buffalo Grove personal injury lawyer bad faith insurance claims Buffalo Grove criminal defense lawyer Des Plaines medical malpractice attorney estate tax appealing an insurance claim life insurance claim denial, denial of life insurance claim trench injuries Palatine corporate law attorneys Inverness real estate lawyer Arlington Heights car accident lawyer Crystal Lake medical malpractice law firm forming a corporation in Illinois Schaumburg elder law lawyer Illinois elder law attorney social media after death Des Plaines collections attorney Illinois estate planning law firm real estate leasing condo association real estate lawyer living trust vs will criminal defense Crystal Lake injury attorney civil litigation Illinois employment laws meal breaks Des Plaines personal injury lawyer car crash injuries Arlington Heights wills and trusts attorneys fault based insurance Des Plaines insurance attorney Kenilworth estate planning attorney medical malpractice Chicago will attorney, social media platforms, Illinois estate planning lawyer, Chicago lawyer Illinois employment law attorney insurance claim denials Crystal Lake employment attorney comp time Inverness traffic law firm texting while driving Rolling Meadows personal injury lawyers Chicago estate planning lawyer insurance claim dispute attorney trucking accident lawyers Chicago employment attorney Barrington Traffic Lawyer swimming pools pay when paid contract first degree murder work unions Rolling Meadows insurance lawyer privacy employees Illinois traffic accident lawyer Rolling Meadows personal injury lawyer Rolling Meadows real estate attorney Buffalo Grove life insurance attorney Illinois traffic attorneys surgical mistakes Schaumburg Attorney Rolling Meadows personal injury attorney Crystal Lake pedestrian accident lawyer reckless homicide how to avoid common denials of life insurance claims Illinois medical malpractice lawyers revenge porn texting and driving Crystal Lake car accident attorney employment law, meal breaks, rest breaks, hotel employees, Des Plaines employment law attorneys civil litigation attorney Illinois rollover accident lawyers Illinois wills and trusts Long Grove real estate attorney coronavirus Home Remodeling Repair Act liability claims pregnant women insurance denials Schaumburg criminal law attorney insurance disputes insurance claim Rolling Meadows probate lawyer Illinois workplace lawyer Inverness probate lawyer healthcare claims Illinois Transfer on Death Instrument Deer Park traffic accident attorney investment property Buffalo Grove real estate attorney license revocation breach of contract Rolling Meadows corporate lawyer rest breaks Deer Park motorcycle accident lawyer Rolling Meadows marijuana attorney underinsured motorist Deer Park real estate law firm anesthesia errors Des Plaines drug lawyer Crystal Lake law firm employment contract, employment law, employment at-will, Deer Park employment law attorneys, contract, Long Grove real estate lawyer estate planning for college students pain and suffering Illinois construction accident attorney right to work cell phone accidents Crystal Lake personal injury attorney subcontractor ACA Illinois insurance dispute lawyers medical marijuana traffic violations Crystal lake insurance dispute attorney car crash Schaumburg car accident attorney Illinois wills and trusts attorneys medical malpractice claims Des Plaines personal injury lawyers foreclosed rental property criminal Barrington employment law firm Crystal Lake personal injury lawyer car collision Crystal Lake pet attorney internet Schaumburg traffic lawyer Barrington criminal defense lawyer Rolling Meadows car accident lawyers Home Sale Contingencies Palatine traffic accidents Kenilworth estate planning attorneys Liquor Control Act gift taxes Palatine punch death insurance claim dispute power of attorney suspended license comparative negligence real estate zoning wrongful death unfunded trust dog bites Palatine probate lawyer Palatine personal injury lawyer job lawyers caretaker rights Rolling Meadows drug defense attorney denial of life insurance distracted driving accident victims Illinois personal injury lawyer Des Plaines Illinois Workers’ Compensation Commission Des Plaines tax law firm DUI life insurance claims FMLA South Barrington real estate attorney Rolling Meadows traffic attorney loopholes Fair Labor Standards Act unauthorized overtime probate fees irrevocable trust preventing accidents Rolling Meadows employment attorney digital information beneficiary complications traffic laws medical malpractice, missed diagnosis, delayed diagnosis, medical mistake, Deer Creek medical malpractice lawyers overtime pay Rolling Meadows DUI lawyer Illinois wrongful termination lawyer Barrington employment attorney Illinois jet ski accident lawyer medication errors Rolling Meadows business lawyer Buffalo Grove personal injury attorney elder law dealing with problem employees Barrington life insurance lawyer estate planning attorney Des Plaines criminal attorney deadly crashes license contracts automated cars traffic accidents Illinois defective products attorney uninsured motorist IRELA Long Grove estate planning attorney trustee icy parking lots employment contract guardianship attorney expungement Barrington estate planning attorney in terrorem provision Palatine drug lawyer estate plan Crystal Lake traffic lawyer mass shooting landlord Arlington Heights pedestrian accidents real estate contract drugs Palatine civil attorney Schaumburg corporate attorney unpaid assessment personal injury lawyer Crystal Lake accident attorney breathalyzer test Illinois boating accident lawyer products liability construction accidents drunk driving statistics rumble strips Illinois trusts attorney Arlington Heights employment law attorneys Des Plaines drug crimes lawyer Rolling Meadows accident lawyer golf accidents Illinois insurance attorney Buffalo Grove injury lawyer pet law blood alcohol content Illinois workers compensation attorney Long Grove wills and trusts attorneys Inverness DUI lawyer Illinois speeding lawyer Detainer Actions Arlington Heights insurance attorney insurance claim delay Illinois motorcycle accident lawyer homestead rights Deer Park employment law attorney Illinois medical malpractice attorney back injuries Barrington boating accident attorney Rolling Meadows boating crash lawyer landlord tenant law Riverwoods estate planning lawyer drunk driving deed transfer drug crimes lawyer Chicago car accident lawyer federal crimes Chicago traffic lawyer rent to own real estate contracts Fourth of July Buffalo Grove law firm Illinois job attorney Kenilworth estate planning lawyer Self-Directed IRA Accounts Deer Park traffic lawyer Long Grove estate planning probate claims Illinois living will Forcible Entry top life insurance claim denials Crystal Lake civil litigation lawyer murder defense Palatine trusts lawyer Des Plaines civil attorney jet ski Mount Prospect wills and trusts lawyers auto accidents Schaumburg drug crime Exclusions special needs trust owner responsibility medical research filing a medical malpractice claim traumatic brain injury Colin Gilbert insurance adjusters Deer Park DUI lawyer pedestrian accidents Schaumburg employment attorney Barrington medical malpractice lawyers Barrington criminal lawyer Des Plaines claims law firm Schaumburg personal injury attorney LLCs Illinois business lawyer Landlord Tenant Ordinance employee rights Illinois traffic attorney Attorney Ken Apicella Rolling Meadows Traffic Lawyer drug possession wrongful termination, employment law, whistleblower protections, Illinois employment laws, discrimination in the workplace power of attorney for healthcare rollover accidents Palatine employment law lawyer Retaliatory Discharge Illinois employment law firm personal injury claims murder charges Illinois collections attorney personal injury law firm Rolling Meadows life insurance claim denial attorney Barrington estate planning lawyer Long Grove estate planning attorneys Crystal Lake tax lawyer Schaumburg wrongful death attorney traffic tickets Class A misdemeanor Illinois LLC creation workers comp motorcycle accident lawyer preventable medical errors denied insurance claims DUI attorney underfunded trust defective products lawyer Schaumburg insurance lawyers Rolling Meadows Deer Park medical malpractice attorney Inverness elder law lawyer Schaumburg personal injury lawyer holiday statistics car accident IRA trust transfer Arlington Heights lawyer college kids business litigation Illinois employment law attorneys whistleblower protections living wills Illinois traffic laws Schaumburg medical malpractice lawyer capital gains tax product liability School Visitation Rights Act DNR Illinois trucking safety Palatine life insurance lawyer Illinois workplace discrimination attorney Arlington Heights medical malpractice lawyer Mt Prospect Attorney Illinois insurance claim dispute lawyer Chicago will attorney Barrington civil litigation attorney Illinois personal injury lawyers Palatine real estate lawyer manufacturing personal injury claim most common reasons for life insurance claim denials distracted driving accidents Deer Park criminal attorney Des Plaines accident attorney commercial leasing Barrington real estate lawyer Barrington drug crime attorney new real estate form rollover car crashes estate planning trusts personal injury, auto accident injuries, delayed injuries, serious injuries, Des Plaines personal injury attorneys Inverness injury lawyer employment attorney Illinois traffic ticket lawyer boating under the influence premises liability hands free device Rolling Meadows medical malpractice lawyers Inverness accident lawyer Illinois driving without license Illinois employment lawyer Transfer on Death Instrument insurance dispute clemency nursing home negligence marijuana cell phone tower data probate startup company Des Plaines real estate attorney Buffalo Grove traffic attorney Illinois business law atorneys Arlington Heights personal injury lawyer Rolling Meadows employment law attorneys employment law estate attorney condo Chicago insurance claim attorneys insurance disputes, Illinois insurance disputes, Illinois insurance dispute attorneys, denied insurance claims, Arlington Heights insurance dispute attorneys insurance claim denial license suspension Palatine criminal defense lawyer real estate closing marijuana crimes attorney living trust benefits Des Plaines Traffic Lawyer IRA benefits Palatine injury attorney slip and fall accidents Arlington Heights wills and trusts lawyer insurance agent negligence Illinois estate planning employee discrimination Chicago employment lawyer Rolling Meadows employment law attorney minimum wage Schaumburg estate planning attorney speeding Rolling Meadows estate planning attorney sexual harassment crossover accidents Jay Andrew controlled substance Illinois Smoke Detector Act Crystal Lake business law attorneys commercial real estate Employment Discrimination Law pet bites Arlington Heights wills and trusts lawyers Des Plaines motorcycle accident attorney life insurance policy Palatine civil litigation lawyer workplace sexual harassment BAC Super Mario Illinois red light cameras Illinois real estate problem employees motorcycle accident CAM FSLA Colin H. Gilbert independent contractor Barrington workers compensation attorney Policy Cancellation traffic crimes Schaumburg criminal attorney Chicago corporate attorney Illinois personal injury criminal record Food and Drug Administration's Food Safety Modernization Act employment law, Illinois employment laws taxes Illinois Human Rights Act denied insurance claim Illinois workers compensation lawyer insurance dispute attorney insurance dispute, insurance dispute lawyers, insurance claim denial, insurance claim delays, Rolling Meadows insurance dispute attorneys digital evidence estate planning, death tax, succession plans, business estate plans, Barrington estate planning lawyers insurance negligence vacation home fines dram shop law insurance denial appeals disability benefits Palatine law firm Palatine insurance lawyer Chicago insurance law firm life insurance Rolling Meadows tax attorney Palatine construction attorney trust payments Illinois injury lawyer Arlington Heights personal injury attorney Des Plaines DUI attorney lapse in policy DUI defense hiring employees Illinois home inspection Barrington injury attorney small business consent to a search head on collisions car accident lawyer slip and fall Chicago biking tips privacy laws Schaumburg drug defense lawyer Do Not Resuscitate Schaumburg personal injury lawyers truck collisions field sobriety test living trust TBI car accident lawyers Thanksgiving Schaumburg real estate lawyer wage theft low-ball insurance settlement Illinois insurance claims lawyers Deer Park workers compensation lawyer personal injury attorney Palatine business attorney IRS personal injury accidents pedestrian accident medical malpractice compensation income distribution deducation Federal Food Drug and Cosmetic Act Crystal Lake employment lawyer Illinois personal injury attorney vacation home Arlington Heights TBI attorney liability pedestrian injuries, pedestrian fatality home inspection lawyer Palatine employment lawyer Schaumburg employment law attorneys denial of insurance claim Illinois law GM ignition switches Schaumburg injury lawyer brain injury Rolling Meadows litigation lawyer Illinois tax attorney Illinois Trust Code BUI estate planning lawyer